Am I selfish in buying a house without putting my 7 year old husband on the deed?


Dear Quentin,

I decided to sell my 17 year old house to take a job in another state. At the time of this decision, I told my husband for 7 years that I wanted a divorce. He was aware of the job offer. Her secrets and her “omission” lies were the reasons I wanted a divorce.

Later he came to me and told me he wanted half the equity because he helped me pay the mortgage and did some work on my rental property.

My brother and I inherited the property when my mother passed away seven years before my husband and I got married (the father had passed away several years previously). Needless to say, I said no to his request. Half would have been half of $ 154,000.

Was I wrong to deny him half?

We decided to work on the wedding. I sold the house and the equity is in my personal bank account. I have since put a deposit (of equity) on a new home in new condition. I asked him if he would agree with the title of just being in my name, and he said yes.

I understand he will have to sign a waiver prior to closing. Besides, his credit is not that good. He pays his debts late. We tried to buy a house twice together and both times it was his late payments that caused the purchase to fail and my income alone was not enough.

“We tried to buy a house twice together and both times it was his late payments that caused the purchase to fail and my income alone was not enough.”

With my new job, my income is enough to buy a house on my own. It is important for me to hold the title because it does not contribute any money towards the purchase and the fact that he has a house in a different state (not the one we moved from) that he bought from years before we were together / married and he chose not to sell or rent.

In addition, he told me that his house was not considered “our” house because I had never made a mortgage payment on it. I really don’t know why he’s hanging on to it. I can only assume he wants to leave him to his grown children who still milk him for money or a safe haven if we get a divorce. I also have children: two adult boys who are stable and owners.

Am I selfish not to put it on the title?

My husband is retired with a good “lifetime” pension and social security. He has money ; just bad credit. I work and I can get Social Security next year when I turn 65.

He’s hiding financial things from me. He opened another bank account because I didn’t want to remove my name from the account attached to his request, but he kept his name in the joint account.

Neither of us use the joint account, except when it comes to sending each other money for an invoice. Sometimes. I wonder if he married me for monetary reasons. He wanted half of the sale of the house I inherited from my mother and / or was paying me back the money spent 15 years ago to fix my rental.

Married to secrets and lies

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Dear Married,

If you hadn’t mixed up your finances on the house you inherited from your mother, you had every right to sell it and keep the money, as long as you didn’t put that money in a joint bank account. Was your husband paying rent or contributing to the mortgage? The latter can change the status of your home. The best time to consult a lawyer is today.

It is too easy for a separate property to become matrimonial property. “Let’s say a party owns a house before they get married. However, once married, the mortgage on this house is paid using the income of both parties. This can be seen as a mixture, and this house could be converted into matrimonial property ”, according to the Mansouri Law Firms in Beverly Hills, California.

“An inheritance is normally considered a separate property,” he adds. “However, if the inheritance is placed in a joint bank account shared by both spouses, then it could be considered marital property. So how can spouses avoid mixing property? One way is to tell who owns the property in a prenuptial or post-nuptial agreement. “

Considering you have children from previous relationships, your turbulent marital issues, your husband’s poor credit record, and what you perceive to be his stealthy financial accounting, I agree it would be best. to separate your respective properties. After all, he seems to have achieved this with his own property and he has his eyes set on you.

The actions you take from this point on will depend on whether you live in communal property or in a fair distribution state. A waiver request may not be sufficient to secure the purchase of a new home. A lawyer will decide if you need a post-nuptial agreement and / or what funds you can use for such a purchase in the event you divorce.

Walk carefully. The “what’s yours is ours and what’s mine is mine” approach is quite considerate.

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