Recap of season 4 of episode 8 of “Selling Sunset”
The truth hurts
During the discussion Sunset Sale, a show about the ravages of capitalism and female friendships, I like to talk about how true and false it is. However, the start of this episode really put a strain on any gullibility for me. Chrishell and Heather meet at a beer garden and decide to raise Jason’s height. I like a short joke, but I try not to let myself go that often, but they do talk about it, so it’s Heather and Chrishell’s fault. Either way, they say he’s 5’5 “which is more generous than the portions from Cheesecake Factory. Cooking up a romance we all know happens, Chrishell is all:” Oh, but he succeeds because of his booty. “It’s a scientific fact that swag can only add a maximum of four inches to a man’s height and only a comma five inches to his endowment. That leaves Jason still at hand. 5’9 “which is Chrishell in a kitten heel. Where is he going to find the remaining three inches he needs. As for the endowment, the jury is still out, but I feel like Brett’s tattooed girlfriend is about two months away from posting the cock pics on Reddit, so I’m sure we’ll find out. soon.
However, the real focus of this conversation is for Heather to talk about her stress rash, which is actually just a red patch on her forehead. She says this is caused by the stress of Christine speaking about how Heather also dated her ex with Emma. Heather says she tells everyone and it wasn’t even a real relationship. And that was seven years ago. “I was 27,” she said as if it was young enough to excuse any indiscretion. Twenty-seven years is enough for you to have your first credit card, your first car loan, and your first federal indictment by then. Oh, scratch the last one. It’s just me. Heather says she ultimately decided Christine wasn’t invited to her wedding, which makes perfect sense given all the bullshit she’s been talking about about loaned HGTV star Tarek. Christine shouldn’t be invited for the same reason Davina wasn’t invited to Mary’s wedding (she spoke shit about the groom). I’ve talked shit about every bride and groom I’ve met, and I always get wedding invitations. Take the hint, folks.
But if Emma freaks out about this guy, Christine is waging fake Instagram account wars over this guy, and Heather ruins the day she met this guy; who is this guy? Why haven’t we even heard a name? “Hello? Sixth page? Yes, it’s Brian Moylan. Brian MOYLâ¦ whatever. Listen, I have a case for you guys. Will you find the missing? Sunset Sale former fiance? We have questions and we need to know if he’s taller than Jason, which he sure is. Okay, thank you for your service, and we will respect your privacy during this difficult time.
There’s a brief interlude where Jason takes Vanessa to a $ 50 million 5BR house in Malibu and says, âUh, ma’am, why are you messing around with $ 1 million sales? This is what you should be working on. It’s a million dollars commission. “He introduces her to Sean the real estate agent. It’s all amazing, extra tall, very attractive, swarthy, big smile, dressed in a cute outfit. Oh, you thought I meant home? No I’m still on Sean the realtor. Yes, I guess the house is nice for some sort of opulent mansion overlooking the water with an infinity pool, balconies, and views of both sunrise and sunset. It There is a home spa with an indoor hot tub and a twink a absoutely died in there. Then we see a massage room next door, and, I take it back, various the twinks are definitely dead here. I mean, if you like those kind of amenities, great. But Sean. Sean Looks Like The Kind Of Guy Who Will Let You Eat Sour Patch Kids In Bed While Watching Housewives reruns after you get a little too high. Houses come and go, but a man like that, you catch him and never let him go.
Christine, Maya and Davina go out for lunch at Moon juice, America’s most intolerable “restaurant”, and the waiter shows off his very nice manicure while displaying a full tub of “Collagen Protect, which is good for hydration inside and out.” How much did Moon Juice pay for it? Is Jason sleeping with the owner? When did this show do product placement for anything other than obscene real estate?
Speaking of obscene, Christine says she doesn’t have time for those fake DM games with Emma, ââwhich we all know to be wrong because if she had time to film a reality show two weeks after the show. childbirth, she has time for fake social media accounts. She says all the girls in the office are “obsessed with an old version of me, and that says more about them than me.” Everything is false. If they are obsessed with an old version of you, when did you become the old version because no noticeable change was detected? Is the new you just an Instagram filter that only you can see? Also, if they believe these things about Christine, she admits that there is an old version of her that would have. So if women believed she would do these things, that says more about Christine and the person she was than it does about women. But for Christine to admit this or change, she would have to take responsibility for her actions and she avoids responsibility like Justin Bieber avoids leaving the house with clean hair.
The gist of the whole conversation is that Maya doesn’t believe that this mysterious guy, whom we still haven’t met or heard his name, proposed to Christine and she totally makes it up. I believe this is all true too, but only because the show told me so. Maya is like, âI know the jeweler who made Emma’s ring, so I know he proposed to her,â and it all sounds sketchy and coincidental, but I’m not above being on a jury that gives a woman the electric chair based on circumstantial evidence if the woman in that chair is Christine.
Next, Chrishell shows Simu Liu (aka Shang Chi) a house with a waterfall and a huge wall of shelves. Shelves ? Oh darling. This is LA Who even has books? In any case, the house is nice. I have only one question: Do they fuck? WE ?
Amanza goes to Mary’s house, and Romaine is there to open champagne for them topless, and after I pop my cork, we listen to Amanza talk about what happened when she went to her lawyer. She says the father of her children delivered a letter to the court two years ago waiving custody and all rights to his children, so this whole hunt for him was in vain. She talks about her struggles raising the kids, sleeping on the couch for two years so they can have their own room, having to tell them their dad isn’t coming home, and it’s all sad and horrible and I just want to give Amanza a big hug and tell her everything will be fine. Amanza gets a pass for the rest of the season because unlike those other heifers, she’s dealing with real shit. Good luck, Amanza.
Finally, Jason takes Mary, Davina and Vanessa to a $ 7.85 million house that was owned by Slash from Guns ‘N’ Roses and now owned by a Dodgers pitcher. He says he needs an update and what he means is the kitchen is old. It’s like an old white refrigerator. It’s a box of Boo-Berry from 1987 rotting in the old cupboard. Why has Slash lived in a time capsule for all these years? Was his hat just a little too low?
Outside, the ladies start talking and Emma and Mary lay out all the evidence as to how and why Christine is lying about this engagement to this guy we still haven’t heard from. Oh, wait a minute, my phone is ringing. âYes, it’s Brian Moylan. Oh, hey, Page Six, I waited for you to call me back. What do you mean this man doesn’t exist? What do you mean it’s a ruse? Can this be true? Well, I’m going to keep assuming it’s real. But you’re right, we’ll need verification at some point. Sorry about that. Either way, Christine is now losing allies as Davina and Vanessa are like, “Why is this crazy girl making these things up and why does she care now that she’s married and does she have a child? ” And everyone, both at home and sitting on the lounge chairs in front of them next to a pool where Slash has soiled countless groupies, are nodding in confusion.