‘Selling Sunset’ Episode 7, Season 4 Recap
Back on the market
We’re used to seeing a lot of filler on Sunset Sale, but it’s usually in the faces, not in the episode itself. Although late in the season, it feels more like a bridge to the last part of All That Will Happen than advancing the story itself. Instead, I mostly wonder about the braids. How much does this show spend on braids? Why do all women have them, and why are they always asymmetrical? Did they have the same artist who did all Khaleesi on Game Of Thrones? Who has the worst braid, and why is it Davina? Who has the best braid, and why is no one there? Just braids, braids, braids. What do you call a group of white women who each have a giant braid? A Groupon, of course.
The episode begins in Chrishell’s new home, and its most interesting feature is that it has hot movers bringing her bland, plastic-wrapped furniture to her. Emma arrives with a basket full of cleverly stacked produce that is three times the thickness of her chest. Why do these women always arrive at each other’s homes with baskets of merchandise that appear to have been looted from the Home Shopping Network set? Nothing is happening at this party; I just needed to mention the hot movers and also the baskets.
Jason meets Christine to talk about how she should return to work about four weeks after having a baby, and whether this is not an attempt to lobby for the Family Leave Act that President Biden appears to have abandoned , then I do not know what is. It’s as if Christine was saying, âHere, take this baby. I have a body to recover and a reality show to film. Now, I won’t tell any mom what to do or how to eat her cheeseburger without the bun with knife and fork, but there is something pretty obvious about the way Christine handles motherhood.
On Doheny, Heather invites the King of Pistachios to the same house for the third time, as he is concerned that the house built on the property below hers is blocking the view. She and Jason figured out how to have a two-foot balloon on a 28-foot rope to place on the field below his own. They can legally only build 30 feet in the air, so if he can see the ball, he could see the house. Jason humbles himself when he can’t throw the ball over the hedge, and anything that humiliates this chihuahua on steroids is a victory in my book. I shouldn’t be too mean. It was pretty fake but also a clever and damn cute idea.
Back in the office, Heather closes in on this house and Mary Frenches her Montana, which isn’t as sexual as it sounds. As if to spoil their fun, Vanessa then tells us that the ghost of her deceased real estate agent sister haunts her because a house has gone into receivership and she has to sacrifice three of Jason’s ex-girlfriends and rub their blood all over it. her body if she wants to erase the curse. Jason opens his phone and immediately begins texting former lovers. It didn’t really happen, but I just wrote a pilot for a new FX show. Someone give me an EGOT for screenwriting.
What else happens during this boring episode? Oh, we hear about a lot of things that go off-camera that look interesting, but we won’t know because we haven’t seen them. Amanza introduces herself and tells Chrishell that someone called Child Protective Services with “anonymous counseling”, and that she had an inspection visit and had to take a drug test for prove that she is kind to her children. Horrible and dramatic, but also, where are these cameras. (Also, I should apologize to Amanza for continuing to joke that she doesn’t do anything at the office. Lady has a lot to do. I’m sorry. Keep showing up with cute glasses. and I’ll give you a pass for the rest of the season.)
Heather throws a party on a yacht so Tarek can continue to be mad at HGTV and so Chrishell can meet Tarek’s friend Robert, a marine-looking former loser who would rather party in Huntington Beach than d ‘go to LA and think it’s okay to literally carry a woman away from having fun with her friends so he can flirt with her. I would subscribe to Robert’s Only Fans, but I certainly never want to see it again.
Oh, but we hear more. This time we hear Emma’s friends getting DMs from fake accounts, saying the account holder knows something about Emma. They are all convinced it’s Christine because Mary saw her do something similar while she was living together and something that Chrishell has dealt with in the past. This is yet another thing that makes me think Christine isn’t playing a doctor on TV, but she is in real life. And by doctor, I mean horrible person.
The episode ends with both a bang and a moan. Jason tells all the girls on the yacht (and Romaine, who isn’t even man enough to just wear her swimsuit on a boat) that Christine is coming back to the office, and she’s getting her old office back. All the women are angry, but he tells them that if she goes back to her old tricks, she will be gone.
Meanwhile, Amanza and Christine are doing pedicures at Christine’s house, and she says, âHahaha. Herself. Wario. And Amanza says, “I’m sorry for all these other girls.” Christine says, “Yes, me too.” Does that mean she gets fired? Oh my God, I hope Christine gets fired. Oh no, wait. You can’t take Christine. What would we do without it! Where would the whole load go?